Feb. 18th, 2009

rubicks_cube: (loser)

I really hate to sound corny, but I guess that's howw this is going to come across whatever way I say it.

You know how for the past few months I've been conflicted about drama, as to whether I want to do it professionally or not. I had decided against it initially but tonight... my mind made itself up.

I had a moment of clarity - a mini-epiphany if you will, at precisely 7.15 tonight. It came about as I was standing behind the closed curtains, in between Trev and Tori, struggling to see through the pitch blackness. Then, suddenly the orchestra started up, the curtainss opened and with the spotlights blinding me, I tap danced my little heart out.

It was that familiar feeling of butterflies in the stomach and internal burning from the six inches of foundation on my face. To quote a familiar song, it was the smell of the greasepaint and the roar of the crowd that told me, 'THIS is what I want to do.'

and even though I was sharing a draughty dressing room with about twenty other girls and had to suffer through swollen ankles and lightening speed costume changes, the thought of being without all of that jazz makes my soul die a little inside.

I can barely go six months without backstage poker tournaments and aftershow parties with copious amounts of martinis. When Trev grabbed my handd to run on for 'Lullaby of Broadway' and when I did my catwalk moment in 'Dames' I just had this feeling a utter... contentment that made all the fears, buts, doubts and what iffs vanish in a heartbeat.

I KNOW this is what I want to do with my life, my heart belongs to the stage.

And I'm going to do everything I can to keep it that way!



rubicks_cube: (Default)

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